Friday, December 30, 2011

On The Past Year

As this blog has shifted from being about random crap to being vaguely about my life, I thought it might be good to reflect a bit on things that have happened to me in the past year. I have to say, that if I were prone to ups and downs, it would have been a year of just those things. However, now I think about it, that's probably the case for most people. I doubt anyone has years that are entirely up (though it would be kind of awesome) or all downs (which would suck really bad). Anyway, I don't do outlines or anything for my posts, so what to reflect on?

I have to say that I suffered a bit of disappointment this year. I graduated from BYU, and I learned something that I had started to expect, and that is that having a degree does not guarantee you the job you want. In fact, I have thus far found my college degree to be essentially useless, aside from the fact that I can say that I'm a trained professional when I end up teaching Sunday school on the spur of the moment. I even had pretty high hopes, and maybe even dreams, of getting a teaching job for a while, but those dreams ended up being closer to pipe dreams (not that I would know what those are like). I do, however, have some small bit of hope, nay, confidence, for this next year, and I feel that a teaching job is probably within my grasp.

I did a whole crapload of awesome stuff this last year. Nineteen canyon descents in one year is by no means a record, but it is still pretty amazing, especially considering that about four years ago I would never have seen myself as a canyoneer. I had a bit of a fear of heights, and, of course, I was pretty fat (I still am, really.). However, canyoneering has quickly become  by very favorite pastime, and the more I do it the more I want. The fact that gear is expensive is a bit of a deterrent, but I can't let that stop me for long! I could also point out my occasional forays into the mountains, as well as an INSANE trip to Havasupai that, while it did leave me hobbling around like an old person for about two weeks, would still make a list of my life highlights.

I learned this year that unemployment is kind of awesome, though inconvenient in that you have no money.

In connection with teaching, I learned that I suck at interviewing. I think the time for me to ask for advice in this area has probably come, and I intend to seek that advice from trusted sources, because I'm afraid the Internet isn't very helpful. As much as I follow the advice I read there, I still suck at interviewing.

So, I'd say that about covers the things I feel like reflecting on from the past year. Though, I will say (ambiguously) that my life has hit a definite high point at the end of the year, and not from any of the aforementioned things, either. That being said, I make an end in my usual way.

This is Captain Danger out.

Monday, December 26, 2011

On Newer Friends

It's kind of sad to say this just a couple days after I had another new member of my family, but say hello to the newest member of my family!

Yeah, I got another new knife for Christmas! While I liked the last knife that I got, it is a little old fashioned, and so I was very happy to get this one, which is very similar to the knife I used to have. The blade style is different, but it's still awesome, and this one is signed by Bear Grylls! How could that not be amazing? If Bear Grylls thinks this knife would be useful in survival situations, I know it will be handy in most all situations. Besides, I'm pretty sure that my entire life is a survival situation.

So, I'm pretty pleased with this knife so far. It's way sharper than my old knife. I mean, this one will shave the hair off my arms. I could never get my old knife to do that. So, here's to the beginning of what will hopefully be another long and fruitful relationship.

I do feel a little bad for abandoning my other new knife so soon after getting it, but really, it's kind of a vintage knife, so I think it will be better off not being used too much. I've already put it back in the box actually, to preserve it as much as possible.

So, that being said, that's enough for this post, and I'll leave you with the usual, an awesome picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Friday, December 23, 2011

On New Friends

Say hello to the newest member of my family!

It came sooner than I anticipated, but it's a new knife! I have to say, it's been a hard summer/fall for me and my knives. After losing one of my oldest and dearest friends in July, I've had a very hard time holding on to knives. I even bought two new knives right when I got my first paycheck from my driving job, and I lost both of those (in the same canyon, strangely enough. Echo Canyon is a knife eater). In fact, I was starting to worry that I couldn't hold on to a knife at all anymore, but I haven't lost one for a couple months. So, fast-forward to December, the time when I'm flying home. Since I flew with Delta and am poor, I chose not to check a bag. That meant that I was unable to bring home a knife! I was worried that I would have to go until Christmas before I had a knife. And, truth be told, I was a little sad that I wasn't able to take a knife on the plane, though I understand why, but what if there had been terrorists on the flight? (This has, actually, prompted me to maybe write another story, either about thwarting terrorists on a plane or being heroic after a plane crash.) Anyway, I came home, resigned to going knifeless for a few days, and when I mentioned it my dad said that my grandma had been dividing up all of my grandpa's (who has severe dimentia) knives at Thanksgiving and he had grabbed me one. Thus, I ended up with this beautiful piece of work. It's not the style of knife I typically prefer, but I can tell that it's a quality piece of work. It should hold together and hold up to some abuse, and it holds a good edge, so I like it. Also, I have managed to figure out how to open it one-handed. So, I introduce my newest knife. May this be the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship. 

That being said, I leave you, as usual, with an excellent picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, December 18, 2011

On Blogging

I begin this post by pointing out that it is the 100th time I have posted something on this blog. When I realized that, I decided that it merited some reflection. Thus, I do hereby begin reflecting on my experience blogging (thus far, don't worry, I'm not quitting) and also perhaps on some things that have changed in my life since I started this blog back in February of 2009.

First of all, that was a long time ago! I still remember my first post like it was yesterday. The title: "And So It Begins" prefaced a post in which I explained why a picture of a My Little Pony Glue Factory playset was amazing. I still hold that it's pretty amazing. I have to say that I've come a long way since then. I've gone from finding funny things on the Internet and explaining why they're cool (which, I mean, I do enjoy sharing my opinion, but how far can I go with that?) to talking ambiguously about my life and things that are happening to me and sharing my thoughts on them, as well as doing the usual analysis of pictures and the like. Actually, now I think about it, I'm not sure why people read my blog. It's kind of a waste of time. (Once again, don't worry, I'm not quitting.)

Anyway, over the past almost three years I've changed a bit. It's crazy to think that in February of 2009 the only time I had ever heard about canyoneering was when I read about it in National Geographic, and now I pretty much live canyoneering. Every time I get money or spend money, I measure the amount in the amount of canyoneering gear I could buy with it. Like, "I'm dropping 240 dollars for rent. I could totally buy a 200 foot rope with this!" I have moved twice from a house that I once swore that I would live in until I got married or graduated, whichever came last. I did graduate, though I haven't gotten married, and overall I'm pretty sure that I've become more awesome, powerful and dangerous over the years, if that were possible.

I have to admit, I think that pinnacle of my blogging career happened a few days ago, when I sat down and wrote a story (that, when copied and pasted into word, amounted to almost eight full pages and almost 4000 words) that still kind of blows my mind. I'm hoping to possibly drop more of the same on my audience in the future, and maybe next time I'll have it a little more polished. We'll see.

At any rate, I think that's enough reflection. I mean, who really wants to read reflection anyway. I forgot to point out that I've developed habits in my posting over the years. One of which is to have every title be "On ______________." I'm not sure why I like that, but I do. The other habit I've developed is to finish every post with a picture of me. I do this because I'm narcissistic, and also because it's my blog, I can do what I want with it! However, as this is a special post, I'll do something different. I'll finish off this post with an amazing video of me! I know, I just blew your minds. Here it is:

This is Captain Danger out.

Friday, December 16, 2011

On Cooking

So, as I sit here in my kitchen, waiting for the potatoes to get soft in my amazing potato soup that I'm making (I can't take full credit, Clay told me how to make it), I'm thinking, "You know, I'm pretty good at this." It's true, I am pretty good at cooking. I don't do it a whole lot because the thought of cooking something elaborate for just myself is a little depressing. (Not that I'm saying that potato soup is particularly elaborate.) But, when I actually jump into it and start making something amazing (which is almost every time I cook) then I start having a pretty good time. The fact that I'm mixing things to create something that is most likely going to turn out delicious is pleasing to me, and though most of the food I cook does not tend to be very healthy, it is still delicious. Heck, there are very few things that are delicious that are healthy. That all being said, I'm afraid this has been kind of a lame post, and that I've used too many parentheses. So, I'll make an end, as usual, with an amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Monday, December 12, 2011

On Earthquakes

So, to preface this post, (which may turn out really long, but also really awesome) I tell about how, this last Sunday we had a combined Sunday school, during which we discussed emergency preparedness. One of the topics discussed was earthquakes. Most everyone who lives along the Wasatch Front has probably heard that we're right on a major fault line and that we're due for a big earthquake here really soon. This train of thought, plus everyone saying what to do in the case of an earthquake, got me wondering, "What would I do if there was an earthquake in Provo?" And, being me, the obvious answer that came to mind was, "Grab some gear, put my machete on my back, put on my Indiana Jones hat, and go out and help people!" That being said, I present the following. I know that I'm not an amazing writer, and I'm afraid that character depth and coherence may be a little lacking. It may also have a few typos, since it's possible that I lost my stomach for proofreading after I wrote my history capstone. However, it's a way for me to live out, at least in some form, my delusion of grandeur, and that's why I'm writing it. I'm sharing it because I just wanted to. Oh, and one final disclaimer: I have done absolutely zero research on this, so I will say right now that if this isn't true to life, or even ridiculous in any way, don't worry about it. It's fiction for goodness sakes!  That being said, I present to you [Insert Awesome Title Here].

As the dust began to settle, Cliff Chandler crawled out from under his desk, feeling thankful at the moment for a few things. One of them was the fact that today was his day off. He had read that driving during an earthquake was not desirable. The second he felt as he looked at the chunks of ceiling that had crushed his desktop computer. He was thankful that he had a sturdy desk. Cliff was also thankful that he was awesome, but he was thankful for that all the time, so he didn't give that one much thought. Looking around his house, he was also glad to see that the majority of it was standing. There were a few advantages to living in an old house, one of which was that they definitely don't build them like they used to. Looking outside through his broken window, Cliff saw cracks in the pavement on the street and several cars that had jostled into each other, steam coming out from under a few hoods. He was no earthquake expert, but he was guessing the one that had just struck was "The Big One" that middle school teachers had been threatening their students with for years. The apartment complex across the street was still standing, but two of its stairwells had fallen down.

Cliff dove back under his desk as the ground began shaking again and then stopped as suddenly as it had started. Having never lived through a large earthquake before, the idea of aftershocks had been just that: an idea. Now, he realized, they were definitely a reality, and one to keep in mind. Unfortunately, Cliff had other things on his mind at the moment. Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket, he was astounded when the call to his parents in Idaho went through. He had always heard that cell towers would be knocked down in an earthquake, and then, even if they survived, the network would be overloaded. Apparently that was an exaggeration. "I guess Verizon really is the nation's most reliable wireless network!" Cliff said to himself as he listened to his parents' phone ringing. However, being true to form, his parents didn't answer. So, he left a message on their answering machine. "You've probably heard about the earthquake in Provo by now," he said, voice shaky at first but growing stronger as he spoke more. "Well, you don't need to worry about me, I'm good. I love you!" He figured he'd get crap for such a short message later, but that was enough to let his parents know that he was safe.

His next call he had to try several times before the phone started ringing. However, when he heard a familiar woman's voice say, "Cliff?" from the person on the other side, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Ashley?" he asked,. "Are you all right?"

The response his best friend gave lessened his feeling of relief. "That's hard to say," she said. "What if I were to tell you that I'm pinned under something really heavy and I'm pretty sure that one of my legs is broken?" Cliff could hear the strain in her voice now, and even through his renewed worry, he had to make note of Ashley's attempt at humor. There was a reason they were such good friends.

"I would tell you to call 911." Cliff said. "I'd imagine you've tried that already, though, right? Unless this really is just a hypothetical situation."

"It didn't go through," Ashley said, "And unfortunately it isn't hypothetical. I daresay emergency services are overloaded right now."

Cliff could hear in her voice that she was close to tears. Cliff had a strong protective instinct, and hearing that made it kick into overdrive. He could hear his voice becoming more and more steady as resolve began to fill him. "Keep trying 911!" he said into the phone, "And don't move! I'm going to come over there and see what I can do for you!"

"Be careful!" Ashley told him. "Who knows what it's like out there!"

"Hey," Cliff said, "They don't call me Captain Danger for nothing!"

"No one calls you that, Cliff."

"Well, after today, they will!" Cliff responded, trying hard to communicate confidence that he didn't actually feel. "Hang in there and I'll see you soon!" They said goodbye and Cliff closed his phone and returned it to his pocket. He had been planning on calling his other friends, but they would have to wait. He re-emerged from under his desk, wary of further aftershocks, and stepped over chunks of the ceiling to his gear closet. Once again, Cliff was thankful that he was awesome. He had spent the last summer canyoneering, and he kept his gear right in his house.

He pulled out his backpack and looked inside. There was his climbing harness, as well as the 100 foot static rope that he had borrowed from his friend, Gavin. He decided to leave those in there, because he might need them. He wasn't sure what kind of havoc the earthquake had wreaked on Provo, but a rope and a harness rarely went amiss. To go along with those was about 50 feet of tubular webbing for anchor construction. Cliff left that, too. He was also glad that he had been too lazy to empty out his hydration bladder after his last trip. It was about 2/3 full, giving him two liters of water. There were also a couple random left-over granola bars and half a pack of jerky. Closing his backpack and swinging it up onto his shoulders, he saw his machete in the back of the closet. He had bought it on his mission, more for a joke than anything, as he had served in Oregon, and had never really used it. However, as it caught his eye, he decided to take it, just in case. Also, even in this moment when Ashley's safety was on the line, he knew it would make him look really cool. He stuck the machete, still in its sturdy canvas sheath, between his backpack and back, and it felt solid there, with the handle sticking up over his left shoulder.

As he walked toward the door, he grabbed his Indiana Jones hat and put it on his head. If I'm going to look cool, I might as well go all the way! Cliff thought that way a lot. However, his exit onto the street wasn't nearly as dramatic as he had suspected. The awning over his front steps had collapsed, and he had to push it out of the way. He looked toward his car, which, surprisingly enough, looked okay. However, he looked at the streets and the cars that were there, none of which were moving, and decided he'd better walk. Ashley lived across town, and he didn't want to waste time trying to get through blocked roads. Turning east, Cliff set himself a speedy pace. He had always been a strong hiker, and he walked to work every day. It should take about half an hour to get over there. Only half an hour. Then I can be there with her, and hopefully do something to help. 

Half an hour, unfortunately, turned out to be a very conservative time estimate. As he turned the corner from his house onto the street heading east, he saw something that didn't present much of an obstacle, but which seemed to show a measure of the damage to the city. Of the two iconic smokestacks of the Provo City Power Plant, only one was still standing, and that slightly askew. The other one was laying down, having fallen in a southwest direction, crushing part of the power building and part of a house on the other side of the small park on the corner. Well, that explains why my lights didn't turn on, Cliff thought as he picked his way through someone's back yard and around the top of the fallen smokestack. Around him, he saw people coming out of their houses to survey the damages. Some were calling for help, but Cliff tuned them out. He had an objective. Getting around the smokestack, he resumed his steady pace, stepping over and around random pieces of rubble that littered the sidewalk and street.

Five minutes later, Cliff stood at the edge of what had once been University Avenue. In its place, a crack had opened up in the ground, barring Cliff's progress. Looking up and down the street he didn't see an end to it. Well, this will drastically change the dynamic of traffic flow in town, he thought. The crack was approximately fifty feet deep and twenty-five feet across, and many cars were visible at the bottom. University Avenue was the busiest street in Provo. Many cries for help were issuing from the crack. Can I really just pass all of these people by? Cliff took off his backpack and pulled out his rope and harness. I just need a Tyrolean Traverse. It's just a really big pothole. However, as he started pulling on his harness, he cries for help grated on his nerves. Sometimes, he thought, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one. (Turns out that Star Trek can be inspiring!) Ashley will understand. Pulling out his phone, he texted Ashley and told her he was on his way and to hang in there. The text didn't send immediately. Apparently phone towers were getting more overloaded. Then he tied a sling made of webbing around a nearby tree, tied his rope to it, and tossed the end down into the chasm, being careful not to hit anyone. Ropes were heavy, and Cliff had learned from experience that it was unpleasant to get hit on the head by a falling one. Cliff rappelled quickly. A fifty foot rappel was easy for him, and he was at the bottom of the crack and standing on the roof of a car in seconds. In fact, it was a familiar car. Down here the cries for help were louder and they echoed slightly. Interspersed among the cries were moans of pain. However, Cliff was focused on the black Honda Civic he was standing on. The car was tilted at a 45 degree angle, and moving up to the drivers side, he looked in the window. The airbag had gone off, but Cliff could clearly see his friend and roommate Andrew Jones in the drivers seat, unconscious, bleeding slightly from a small head wound.

Holy crap, Cliff thought, pounding on the window. Why are all of the people important to me getting hurt here? "Andrew!" he yelled, "Wake up!" Inside, Andrew started to stir, moaning slightly. Straddling the door, Cliff pulled on the handle and managed to get the door open a crack. Putting his fingers under the edge of the door, Cliff pulled with all of his strength, managing to get the door open.

"Cliff?" Andrew asked groggily, slowly taking in Cliff's climbing harness, machete, and backpack and seeing the rope going up to the edge of the chasm behind him. "What the heck are you doing here? What happened?"

"There will be time to explain that later, Jones," Cliff said, offering his hand. "Are you alright? Ashley's in trouble, and if I'm going to do any good here, I'm going to need your help. Also, why didn't you ask, 'How come you look like a total bad-A?'"

Andrew smiled in spite of himself. "Slipped my mind," he replied. He was starting to move experimentally. "I think I'm alright, but I'll be feeling this in the morning." Andrew took Cliff's hand and pulled himself out of the car. Aside from the blood on his head, he looked fine. "Oh," he added, "and you look ridiculous."

"Alright then," Cliff said. "I need to get you out of here, and then I need to get to Ashley's house. But I can't just leave all of these people stuck down here. I'm going to ascend this rope and then pull you up. Then I'm going to need you to use the rope to pull more people out."

"Right," Andrew said. "While you're going up I'll check on some of these other people." Both Cliff and Andrew knew some first aid from their time as boy scouts. That had been several years ago, but the basics of first aid were easy to remember. As Andrew turned to leave, Cliff turned back to the rope. Ascending ropes was always really annoying, but at least he had a pretty flat wall to go up. He used a piece of thin accessory cord that was hanging from his harness to tie a knot around the rope that wouldn't slide when weighted, but would when he took his weight off of it, leaving a long loop for his foot. Then he used another length of cord to tie the same knot, attaching this one to the belay loop of his harness with a spare carabiner. That being done, Cliff began the laborious process of ascending.

About five minute later, he dragged himself over the edge of the crack, gasping for breath. Being fat never made ascending any easier. Cliff gulped water from his backpack, then, after taking a couple minutes to catch his breath, he pulled up the end of the rope, tied a loop in the bottom, and tossed it back down. "Andrew!" He yelled, "sit in that loop and hold on!" Cliff quickly rigged a haul system using carabiners and started pulling Andrew, who had come from helping a couple people two cars behind him, up to the edge of the chasm. When Andrew finally came up over the lip, Cliff's arms were burning.

"You're going to want to pull some more uninjured people up first to help you pull others," Cliff told Andrew as he got to his feet, putting the rope aside. "Pulling it up by yourself is really hard on your arms. Now, I need to use that rope, and then this big old hole in the ground is all yours."

Another of the fun things that Cliff had hanging from his harness was called an Ibis hook. He tied that securely to the end of the rope and started spinning it around in a circle next to him. About twenty-five feet across he thought. I have plenty of rope, but can I make the toss? And if I even make the toss will it hook to something? Cliff's first toss made it across, but didn't come near anything the hook could attach to. He had his eye on a fallen tree, hoping there would be a branch the hook would go around. His second and third tosses didn't make it across the chasm. Growling angrily at himself, Cliff set his feet and prepared for his fourth toss. He had to get to Ashley, and fast! She hadn't texted him back, and Cliff could only hope for the best. Once again using all his strength, and thinking it might not be the last time he did that today, Cliff flung the rope across the chasm. The hook fell among the branches of the fallen tree and caught. Pulling the rope tight, Cliff gave it a couple firm tugs. It gave a little bit back and forth, and he could see a sturdy-looking branch on the tree moving slightly. "That'll have to be good enough," he said to Andrew. Putting a carabiner on the sling that was still tied around the tree, Cliff ran the rope through it and pulled it tight. Handing the end to Andrew, he said, "Hold this while I go across."

"Cliff, that's crazy!" Andrew said. "You don't know if that tree will hold!"

"I don't have a choice," Cliff said dramatically. "Well, maybe I do, but I've always wanted to say that. Besides, do you see a better way across this thing?"

Andrew shook his head reluctantly. "Be careful, then."

"Yeah, that's the standing order," Cliff said. Andrew pulled the rope tight, then wrapped it around himself and sat down. Cliff took a short loop of webbing and attached it to his belay loop, then put a carabiner through the end. He put the carabiner on the rope and locked it. "Here I go," he said nervously. Then he moved to the edge of the crack and stepped out into space.

Cliff had done Tyrolean Traverses before, but never this high. It had always been over potholes maybe ten feet deep. However, his resolve to get to and help Ashley helped him as he pulled himself hand over hand along the rope. He did his best not to look down at the people still at the bottom of the chasm. Andrew will help them, he thought, and kept moving.

When he finally arrived at the other side, Cliff detached the hook from the tree. He hesitated, then took off his harness, tied it to the rope and threw it across to Andrew. "Use that if you need it!" he yelled across the chasm. Andrew knew how to wear a climbing harness and he knew how to rappel. "I'll see you later!" Then he turned and started walking toward Ashley's house again, his backpack still on his back, but considerably lighter.

A couple blocks later, Cliff saw an apartment building that had partially collapsed. Gathered around it and poking through the rubble were several people, probably the previous tenants. As he walked past, still keeping his brisk pace, Cliff smelled something familiar, but which he did not like. Gas. Natural Gas. And a lot of it. Running to the group of about twenty people, Cliff yelled, "Clear off! Don't you smell the gas? This place could go up any minute!" The people just stared at him, apparently they were in shock. Also, Cliff thought, the fact that he looked like a complete bad-A might have something to do with it. Cliff started to move among them, pushing them into motion, moving them away from the fallen building. It took a minute, but he soon had the entire group moving down the block.

Back in the rubble, Steve the mouse was in a good mood. He didn't know what had made the ground go all movey earlier, or had it been a long time ago? Steve, being a mouse, didn't have much of a sense of time. However, he did like the way the building was set up now. All of these piles of things made for lots of places to hide, and the people weren't even in here anymore! Steve didn't like people. They always yelled and threw things at him when they saw him. But, here in all of these big and small pieces of things, he didn't have to worry about people. He could also smell food, and he was moving in that direction. Steve smelled something else, too, a strong smell, but he could smell the food through it, and he wanted the food.

As he wandered along, leaving small pawprints in the dust, Steve saw a small round thing that seemed to be coming out of the ground. The funny, strong smell that he had been smelling was coming from that. Steve didn't spare it much more than a glance. He was after the food he smelled. As he walked by, his tail knocked into something larger and flatter and shinier but also round that had been balanced precariously on its side. The touch from his tail was all it took to knock the thing over. The second thing that was round hit the first thing that was also round but not as big, and Steve, who had stopped to watch (Steve loved watching things fall) only saw a small flash, followed by a much larger flash, before he never saw anything again.

A block and a half away, still herding people, Cliff felt the shockwave from the explosion. Later, he would tell his friends that he didn't look at it, because cool guys don't look at explosions. However, he definitely did, and watched as a fireball enveloped what was left of the apartment building, and, unbeknownst to Cliff, Steve. All of the people he had been herding away turned around to look, too. With that, Cliff figured that his work here was done, and kicked himself into a run. It was only a few more blocks to Ashley's house, and he hoped that she was still okay. She has to still be okay!

Ashley's house was near Kiwanis Park, one of Cliff's favorite places to go in Provo. As he walked up, he saw that two of the walls and the roof had fallen in, and that the other two walls didn't look too long for this world. He ran to the open side of the house, shouting Ashley's name.

"I'm here!" came the pained, but still strong response. Ashley was in what had been the living room. She was laying on the floor, pinned, as she had said, at the torso by a large piece of the wall with rubble on top of it. While Ashley was a tough girl, Cliff probably couldn't have lifted the weight that was on top of her, at least not from her position. She smiled when she saw him. "Well, I'm happy to see you!"

"Likewise," Cliff, said, not able to repress a smile despite the trouble Ashley was in. "So, how did you manage this?"

"Oh, shut up," she said. "Are you going to get this mess off of me or not?" Cliff took off his backpack and machete. He gave Ashley a drink of water and then, working quickly, started clearing the debris off the top of the piece of wall, which was mostly intact.

With all the rubble cleared off, he said, "Well, right now I'm wishing I went to the gym more frequently. Or ever. Here goes nothing." Bending his knees, Cliff grabbed the wall next to where it was sitting on Ashley and started to lift. Slowly, the wall moved upward until it was at his chest height. "I don't think I can get it any higher!" he said in a strained voice. "Can you move out from under it?"

"Maybe." Ashley set her face determinedly and started dragging herself out from under the fallen wall. Tears fell from her eyes as she moved her left leg, the lower part of which was bent at an awkward angle, but she didn't make a sound.

Cliff's muscles were tiring fast. He had never held something this heavy for such a long time. He didn't know that he had the ability to hold something this heavy for as long as he had already, and Ashley was only halfway out from under the wall. Gathering his will, he focused on the task of holding his arms in place and not letting them drop as Ashley slowly moved backward. Finally, both her feet cleared the space where the wall had been. Cliff stepped back and finally let go of the wall. As it crashed to the ground, he fell as well, arms and most of his body shaking. He turned his head and smiled at Ashley.

"Well, that could have gone worse," he said. "Now all we have to do is make you a splint and get you to the hospital, if that's still standing."

"Sounds like a walk in the park!" she said.

"You don't know that half of it," Cliff replied. Then, despite everything, they both started laughing.

Okay, so that's a pretty good conclusion, right? I could have gone on. I am a little disappointed that I never got to use my machete, but maybe I'll make another installment with looters who try to beat us up when we see them stealing from a store or something. I would have put it in this one, but it was starting to get pretty long, so I decided against it. So, that's all I've got. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it, because I'm not going to lie, I felt pretty awesome. :) I'll finish this post, as usual, with an awesome picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

On Mountains

So, pretty much every day I look up at the mountains surrounding Provo and think, "Cliff, you idiot! You had all of the free time in the world for the whole summer and you didn't go up there once! What was wrong with you?"

Thus, as of right now, I am setting a goal to summit all of the peaks surrounding Utah Valley this summer. Think there's like seven of them. That ought to keep me busy for a while. Some of them don't have trails, so that should get interesting, I'll see how that goes down, because I know from experience that a route that looks like it would be easy from down at the bottom of the valley can turn out to be impossible when you're actually up there. I've looked on the Internets for a panoramic picture that has all of them in it. I couldn't find one, so you'll just have to use your imagination. However, with that in the works, as well as another amazing summer of canyoneering, this coming summer (Is it bad that I'm already looking forward to summer? It is my favorite season, after all.) is shaping up to be awesome!

That's really all I have to say at the moment. It's been on my mind for a little while. Also, you know what else has been on my mind, at least this afternoon? This song. No particular reason, it's just an awesome song. Anyway, that being said, I'll leave you with the usual:

This is Captain Danger out.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

On Mediocrity

So, it's late at night and I should probably be in bed, as I drive for a living. However, I have a few thoughts jumping around in my head that I really want to commit to the Internets before they cool down and relieve me of this chance to alienate a few of my female readers. How do I intend to do this you ask? First, there's the title of this post. Next, there's the picture I'm about to post:

Yes, that's correct. I just said that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 was mediocre. Okay, now all of you people who loved the movie can be alienated. I apologize for alienating you. Please come back. Now that that's done, I wish to continue with my line of reasoning.

First of all, I want something made clear. The Harry Potter series is one of my very favorite. As far as I'm concerned, J.K. Rowling did an amazing job and she's pretty much a genius. I rank Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows as probably my first or second favorite book. In fact, now I think about it, I think it takes second, as I think that Mistborn is now my favorite book. That Brandon Sanderson is a genius. However, I love the books. I've loved them ever since I discovered them as a freshman in high school. I have read the first and third books about seven times each, and listened to every single book at least twice, if not three times. I devoured the sixth book in less than 24 hours. You could ask me almost any question about something that happens in the books, and the odds are that I could give you the correct answer. You could even ask me about spell incantations or how apparition works or the name of Percy Weasley's owl, or even the name of the goblin that Harry used the Imperius curse on (Gornuk), and I could tell you those things, too. When it comes to Harry Potter, I am a huge nerd and I really really like the books.

That all being said, I still hold that I was not a very big fan of the final movie in the series. In fact, the movies bother me quite a bit. I really haven't been impressed with any of them. However, it astounds me how almost everyone around me thinks that they were amazing. The interesting thing about this, however, is that when I point out the many flaws of the movies and the reasons why they are lame, they agree with me, but then they say something to the effect of, "But I HAVE to love it, because it's HARRY POTTER!" (That last part should be said in a higher-pitched voice, because the people saying this are generally female.) To me, this line of reasoning is all sorts of flawed. Just because a movie is based on some of the best books written in the last decade does not give it an excuse to be mediocre, or, in the case of a couple of the movies, just plain lame. In fact, I think that this should make us hold it to a higher standard, and to shun it if it sucks.

For example, among other things, the final movie just seemed really forced to me. Granted, I knew exactly what was supposed to happen, but the film makers had to anticipate that most of their audience would. However, every time something exciting happened, I felt like they just screamed through it, not making it exciting or even really interesting. When they revealed something amazing, like a twist, I felt like they were forcefully shoving it down my throat. It just wasn't smooth. Even parts that were just dialogue, like Harry talking to Dumbledore in his dream, just didn't seem smooth and felt really rushed. Overall, I have to say that I just wasn't impressed.

Anyway, those are the main thoughts I have on this movie. Once again, if I've alienated anyone, I apologize. I promise that my next post will be much less controversial. But, if you don't want any controversy, why the heck are you reading my blog? (That's a rhetorical question. Don't stop reading my blog.) That being said, I leave you with the usual, an amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Friday, November 4, 2011

On Diagrams

So, I've got to say, this is probably pretty accurate. I particularly want to say that because I'm pretty sure that all of the circles describe me pretty well:




Double Check.


Seriously, have you met me?


So, basically, what we're gathering here is that I'm Batman. Except that isn't true. I don't really have the disposition to be Batman. Or, for that matter, the money (which, by the way, is Batman's true superpower). Besides, I already have a superhero name! Also, I'm pretty sure that if I were going to be a superhero, I would want to first acquire superpowers. I'm still waiting for that to happen. I'm pretty sure it will someday. Maybe even soon. I'm banking on teleportation, or, failing that, telekinesis.

All of that being said, I make an end for this post. And, even though I've already posted two pictures of myself, I'm going to go ahead and leave you with another amazing picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

On Mary Woodall

So, those (few) of you who read my blog regularly may remember how I put out a request a while ago for suggestions. I received like two. That was not a surprise. However, one of the request that I received was to write a post about my good friend Mary and how awesome she is. I've decided to do just that in this post. Here follows a few of the reasons why Mary is awesome.

First of all, Mary is someone who I really respect. She's been through a lot more than I have, and I think it's amazing how she's held up through all of it and still managed to be such an awesome person.

Second of all, she's hilarious! Mary is super fun to hang out with because she loves to laugh and do fun things. Her wheeze laugh is amazing, and very contagious. When you're hanging out with Mary and you're both in the mood for fun, you can't help but have a great time!

Third of all, she has all of the seasons of Psych on DVD. Anyone who doesn't think that that's awesome is a communist.

Fourth of all, she's Mary. She an awesome person, an awesome friend, and I'm super glad to know her. If I had never met Mary, I'm pretty sure my life would be cold and dreary. Okay, so that may not be entirely true, but Mary certainly has managed to brighten up my life on several occasions! Thanks Mary! Here's to you!

I end, as usual, with an amazing picture of me. This one has Mary is in it, too. In fact, when the random stranger we asked to take it for us was taking it, he asked if we were married. We thought that was pretty hilarious.

This is Captain Danger out.

(P.S. I realize that this post might have come off a little mushier than usual. I'll follow it up with a super manly one. No offense, Mary, you're still awesome.)

Monday, October 31, 2011

On Facial Hair (Again)

Well, suffice to say, I have realized one of my dreams. I've wanted a handlebar mustache for a very long time. For Halloween, I did a redneck, and I think I pulled it off pretty dang well. In fact, some people pointed out that I possibly pulled it off a little too well. I don't know if I find that a problem, because it's awesome. That being said, I plan on keeping it for a couple more days. Granted, I know that I can't keep it forever, because I'll never get married. However, I think it's amazing, so I'm holding on to it for a couple more days. And, that being said, I make it an end. Here's an amazing picture of me (with a handlebar mustache):

This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

On Rescue

So, I don't have a lot to say about the great (actually not that exciting) rescue of Echo Canyon. However, one thing I'd like to say. I can't say how many time's I've joked while on hikes that if someone hurt themselves, I would carry them out. Now I've done it! Granted, I didn't carry her all the way out, and we took turns, but I've participated, and I have to say, I'm pretty pleased with that. So, that's about all I've got to say about that. For the moment, anyway. So, I'll do the usual and leave you with an amazing picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

On Rainy Days

I decided today that I really enjoy rainy days. Granted, I already knew that, but it was confirmed to me today. I also decided that I like driving in the rain. Not really hard rain, but I think it's cool having the windshield wipers going and hearing the rain hitting my car and seeing the spray coming up around the other cars and knowing that my car is doing the same thing. I like hearing the sound of cars going by in the rain outside my open window and the sound of the rain hitting the roof of my house. Anyway, that being said, I don't have anything else to say  at the moment, just felt like sharing that. I'll leave you, as is my wont, with an amazing picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

On Music

What is it about some songs that just makes them empowering? I have recently noticed that about a few songs in my collection. I listen to them, and I suddenly feel more powerful (which is saying something!). I feel more able to take on the world and like nothing can stand in my way (which is generally true, but the songs help me remember it in times when I forget, for whatever reason). This is one such song:

If you don't like that song, I submit that you are probably a communist. Either that, or you have very different tastes in music from what I have, which probably also means that you are a communist. I have to thank my friend Matt for introducing me to that song and to the band Switchfoot in general.

The empowering effect of this song, and other songs like it (which include things such as Livin' On a Prayer by Bon Jovi, Wanted Dead of Alive, also by Bon Jovi, Don't Stop Believin' by Journey and many others) work best when the songs are played at full volume while driving in a car with the windows down. Try it sometime. You won't be disappointed. That being said, I leave you with the usual: an amazing picture of me.

Me riding in Anthony's car out of the sunroof. Don't worry, I used my enormous strength to stabilize myself.

This is Captain Danger out.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

On Money

So, while I am enjoying my current job, today was the day that it really occurred to me that I could be making a LOT more money substitute teaching than I am making at my current job. The thought has come into my mind before, but it really hasn't hit me until today, when I thought about numbers a little bit. The main problem with substitute teaching is that it kind of sucks. Anyway, this is an item for a bit more thought. That's about all I've got for this post, though. Here's an amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Friday, September 23, 2011

On Mountains

So, a couple of days ago I was driving up to the temple (as is my wont) and I looked up at Y Mountain and had a process. It went something like this: "Oh, look. There's Y Mountain. The leaves are starting to change colors, that's pleasant. Wait a minute! I haven't even been into the mountains this summer! I need to do something! Tomorrow's my day off! I'm going to there!" Thus, I made the decision to hike to the summit of Y Mountain yesterday. I intended to go by myself initially, but when a friend asked if she could come too, I went ahead and let her, and was glad for the company.

This isn't what the mountain looked like yesterday.

So, the story of the decision being made having been told, can I just say that I had forgotten how much I love the mountains? Sure it takes work getting up there, but once up, I love the feel of being in the mountains. The wind just feels nicer up there, and the chill that lets you know you're up higher than you usually are is all sorts of pleasant. Granted, I do realize that this was just Y Mountain and not very impressive, but it's made me realize that I need to do more with myself on my days off. There are a couple more hikes I'd like to do before winter hits, and I plan to do them. That being said, I don't have much else to say. Here's an awesome picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

On Climbing.

So, this post is prefaced with me saying that I have not really enjoyed climbing in the past. I've been a few times, and every time I've found that I really sucked at it and that it was kind of scary being belayed by someone who was, generally, a lot smaller than me.

That being said, I went ahead and went climbing yesterday, and to make it more interesting, I went ahead and rented some shoes from Outdoors Unlimited, the outdoor store at BYU. It was a night and day difference! I went from slipping all over the place in my old shoes (the ones with leprosy) to barely having to worry about where I was putting my feet! It was amazing. In fact, it has changed my entire outlook on climbing! Before today, I would go on climbing trips mostly just to belay people (you won't find a better belayer than me, I'll tell you that right now), but now I find myself wanting to buy my own climbing shoes and go more often and actually become a good climber! Granted, when I was climbing my belayer had to be two people, but that is really beside the point. Anthony did point out that if I wanted to be a good climber, probably the best thing I could do is lose about 100 pounds. That was an exaggeration, I think I need to lose about 50 pounds. That would serve, at least, to make me easier to belay.

However, another thing that I'd like to point out is that climbing gear is not generally made for people my size. I had to get the extreme largest climbing shoes they had at Outdoors Unlimited, and they barely fit (which, I know they are supposed to). This led me to create a new term: sizist. Yes, I went there. Climbing, and sports like it, are prejudiced against large people, making them sizist. That doesn't stop me from doing them, though, and I will continue to be awesome, despite my size, though yesterday has given me at least a small desire to lower my weight, at least by a little.

That all being said, I make an end. Here's an excellent picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, September 3, 2011

On College Football

Can I just say that I love college football? This statement has been a while in coming. When I first got back from my mission, I didn't care at all about college football. I didn't even care about BYU football, which I'm pretty sure is a sin. However, my love for watching this sport has slowly grown over the years, to now I don't mind just sitting down and watching football for several hours, especially if it's a team I care about (BYU, Oregon, and Boise State (in that order)). Anyway, all I'm saying right now is that I'm very pleased that the college football season has begun, and I'm looking forward to about five months of awesome. Good work by the Cougars to begin with!

That being said, I'm still happy to have suggestions. I have gotten a couple, and I intend to follow up on those, but more are welcome. That being said, here's an amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Monday, August 29, 2011

On Moving

I haven't even started yet, but I already know that once I do start, moving is going to suck. That is all. Here's an awesome picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

On Facial Hair

I'm hoping that you can click on this picture and make it bigger. If not, click on this link here.

Anyway, just something shown to me by a friend, who suggested that I blog about it, and I thought it was a pretty good idea, as I'm working on growing out a beard. The beard I'm working on is at the very top of the trustworthiness scale, as I like the full beard, and I've actually been told that I look good with it when I shave the hair off of my neck. Anyway, that being said, I think I may have discussed this topic a bit before. What is it that makes a person with a beard look more or less trustworthy than a person without one? I have a couple ideas.

1. Historically, people have had different types of facial hair. Thus, the Hitler is on the bottom of this trustworthiness scale (which I actually think is pretty accurate, though I think that they have really put the Horseshoe mustache in the wrong place on the scale. Unsavory? Really? I have dreams about having one of those someday, and can you really call Jamie Hyneman unsavory? That guy is the shizzle, but I digress.). Also, it explains why others are closer to the top, such as the distinguished man beards of the past.

2. Having hair on one's face makes one automatically more manly and more awesome. Trust me, it's true. Some are jealous. In fact, I would submit that some women find facial hair unappealing because they're jealous that they can't be as awesome. That is, most women can't be, but I won't go into that.

Actually, I think that those may be my only two ideas. Really, it's mostly arbitrary. I personally think that I look just as trustworthy with a beard as I do without one, which is why I'm not uncomfortable with growing it out. That being said, I'm not that impressed with this post. However, it has given me an idea.

My idea is as follows. As this post came from a suggestion, what if other posts came from suggestions? While I do enjoy blogging (somewhat ambiguously) about what's going on in my life, I also like blogging about random crap and sharing my opinions. So, if any of my readers have anything they want my opinion on published, go ahead and put it in a comment! Putting it in a comment does not guarantee that it will get published, of course, as I am my own man. Also, as this is at the bottom of kind of a long post, I won't be shattered if I don't get a lot of suggestions. But, if you have suggestions, shoot them my way, and it's possible that you could receive the amazing wisdom of Captain Danger on the topic of your choice!

That being said, I make an end. Here's the usual excellent picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

On Staying Up Too Late

The fact that I don't start work in the morning until 10:00 am has been detrimental to my sleeping schedule. The killer thing is, what am I doing at 2:00 in the morning? Nothing, really. Tonight I spent a bunch of time trying to figure out where I could find the sick (good sick)-looking canyons outside Ouray, Colorado (I was not entirely successful) and then just random goofing off on the Internet, much of which included Facebook. I should really learn to just go to bed on time, because I'm pretty sure that's better for me.

But, on the subject of this Ouray place, I'd never heard of it until recently, and now I'm seeing these pictures on canyoneering forums of people rappelling in flowing water down really high waterfalls, and the main thing that I'm thinking is, "I want to go to there." Maybe someday. It will have to be a someday after I've bought new shoes and when I feel comfortable asking for some time off from work, because I don't think it would be good enough just to go to this ridiculously awesome-looking place for only one day. I'd post some pictures, but I don't know if non-members of the forums I'm in would be able to see them. Plus, most of my readers probably wouldn't be particularly interested.

Anyway, what I'm doing right now is simply exacerbating the problem that I talked about in the first paragraph and should really call it a night. Also, I'm starting to think about taking this blog back to its roots and doing some commentary on things that I find on the Internets (i.e. explaining why things are awesome, or making up stories that go with pictures that seem not to have explanations). Thoughts? I'll say, I often thought I was hilarious when I wrote those posts, but I think that a lot of my readers just thought that I was a dork, and I can understand that, because I do tend to be a dork sometimes.

That all being said, I should really call it a night. Here's an awesome picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

On Employment

Yes, for those of you who haven't heard, I am now employed. I now have a job, that I go to and do work and they give me money. Well, they haven't given me money yet, but I have faith that they will soon. Anyway, there are a few advantages to this situation, as compared to my previous one:

1. I now have something to do almost every day.
2. I will soon have money, with which to buy things such as a new knife (something I desperately need), new shoes (which I almost need more) and a rope.
3. I will have money to pay rent.
4. I don't sound like a huge bum when I introduce myself to someone and have to say that I'm unemployed.

However, I have to say, I miss a few things about my previous situation:

1. The ability to do whatever I wanted every day.
2. The ability to go canyoneering at any time.
3. The fact that I had very little responsibility.

So, basically, it's a good thing that I got a job, because I'm pretty sure I was starting to enjoy unemployment too much, and what little ambition that I have was starting to just get sapped away. Now that I'm in a job that I will probably get tired of in a couple months, I have the ability to wish for something more, and can keep moving ahead. That being said, I think that may be about all I have to say for this post, except to say that, for my current job, I drive a van that looks a lot like this:

That's right, I drive a creeper van. That being said, I make an end. Here's an awesome picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

On Reading

You know, I had thought that I had completely lost my attention span and my ability to stay awake. However, I have finally achieved it. I have finished two books in the past month. One of them was even a really boring one that didn't even make sense! So, that just goes to show that I still have an attention span, I can still stay awake when I'm not watching TV (most of the time), and I can still read! I guess not having a job has been good for me in some ways. That being said, I'll make an end. Here's a picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

On Responsibility

In case you're wondering, I'm not a huge fan. That's all I have to say at the moment. Here's an excellent picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

On The Loss of a Loved One

I have chosen today to mourn the loss of one of my oldest and closest friends. It was a week ago on Monday. Having just successfully completed our descent (and friggin' climbing out) of Boundary Canyon, I was changing from my adventure pants (which had very large holes in them) into my shorts, which were clean and would be much more comfortable. This is when the tragedy occurred. I took my knife out of my pocket, set it on top of the car, and forgot to put it back into my pocket.

Thus ended a very long and productive relationship. That knife has served me very well since I bought it in February or March of 2007. It has, I think, more than anything, served as a device of intimidation. However, I can't say how many times I've used it to cut the twine off of bales of hay, or cut webbing for rappelling anchors, or any number of other things. Also, the fact that it was always in my pocket, readily available should a situation involving murderers, rapists, or terrorists (or a combination of the three) arise was always very comforting. This knife will be greatly, greatly missed.

Anyway, looking on the bright side, now I get to buy a new knife once I finally have a job again! Does anyone have any suggestions? I'm looking for a solid one that can take a beating if necessary. I may just buy the exact same knife, I haven't decided yet. This all being said, I make an end. Oh, and don't worry, I still have three knives, and generally have two on my person at all times. They just aren't quite as cool as my old one. I'll end, as has been my wont recently, by posting yet another excellent picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

On Plasma

So, if you haven't figured it out yet from reading my more recent posts, I'm a little low on cash at the moment. In fact, the term "a little" is a pretty gross understatement. Granted, I have a pretty good-sized wad in my savings mutual fund, but I don't want to dip into that yet. The fact that I chose not to get a summer job may be exacerbating it, but at least now I'm unemployed and have no money and enjoy it instead of being unemployed and having no money and being really depressed about it (or rather, as depressed as Captain Danger can get). But I digress. That really long introduction was to introduce the reason why I finally decided it was time to donate my plasma for money.

I've always viewed this as sinking pretty low and it has never been something that really appealed to me. I never did it because I figured that donating blood was the more noble way to go (and I do, in fact still hold that, but I can't afford to be noble at the moment). However, I finally broke down and did it, and I was really surprised that it went down really well! In fact, I can't believe I didn't get in on this racket sooner!

First of all, the people there are nice and reasonably personable, and they had movies playing on the TVs there! While I was there they played League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and The A-Team, both of which are movies that I like. So, basically, I was getting paid for doing what I would have done anyway, I just had a needle stuck in my arm while I was doing it. Granted, I did feel a little ashamed going straight to the store after where the bandages on my arm made it obvious that I had just come from donating plasma and that I was spending the money I had gotten there. But, I'm pretty sure I'll get over that.

That being said, I make an end, leaving you, as ever, with this amazing picture of me:

This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

On Cartoons

There is a sad trend in the world today. It is this: there are many movies that people discount just because they are cartoons. The main example of this would be comic book movies. People get really excited about live action comic book movies, but when there's a cartoon comic book movie, it hardly gets any attention at all! This, I think, is a cryin' shame, and many people who enjoy good action movies are really missing out. This also applies to TV shows. For example. I have recently started (and finished) watching a TV show called The Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

Now, while I'll admit that it doesn't have the catchiest title on the planet. It is an awesome show! I mean, there are very few people who didn't like the movie Iron Man, or the movie Thor, and then you combine them, as well as adding Captain America, The Hulk, Hawkeye (who is kickawesome) The Black Panther, Giant Man, and the Wasp, and you end up with an amazing team of superheroes! These guys can take on almost any comers, and it's amazing. I mean, with an intro like this:

how could it not be an awesome show? Trust me, it is. I highly recommend it. All of the episodes of the only season to play so far are on Netflix and Hulu. Don't let this golden opportunity pass you by!

Anyway, now that I've totally branded myself as a nerd (again) I'll leave you with yet another amazing picture of me.

This is Cliff Chandler out.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

On Summer

It has recently come to my attention that I have definitely chosen the correct career. I have learned that teaching is the right career for me, if for no other reason than the following: I get my summers off! How awesome is that? Answer: ridiculously awesome. Ever since I've decided not to get a job and to just enjoy my summer, I've realized just how glad I am that I'm going to be doing this every year. And, the really awesome thing is that in future summers I should actually have money with which to do things! Yeah, things are looking up for Captain Danger, I'll tell you that right now. Anyway, that being said, I'll leave you with, yet again, an amazing picture of me.

This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

On Future Employment

I have come to an important decision for me: I have decided not to get a summer job. This choice was brought on by a couple realizations. First, and this is something that I've known for a while, getting a summer job would really suck. I became a teacher for a few reasons, and one of those reasons was so that I didn't have to work in the summer. Second, most of the jobs that wouldn't mind me just working for the summer would really suck. Things like sales (kill me) or call centers (kill me in a fire) and stuff like that. Third, even the sucky jobs don't seem to want me! I mean, what's the point of having an online application if you still expect the applicants to call you or come to your place and bother you? I think it's dumb. Finally, I have realized that, now that there is only a month and a half left until the beginning of the school year, there probably aren't any jobs that would be very excited about me coming on for a month and a half and then leaving. Thus, my decision.

Am I a little apprehensive about this decision? Not really. I think I can handle myself just fine on just a portion of the money I have in savings and be covered just fine. Also, having the summer off means that I'm more available to do awesome things! If anyone is doing something fun and they want me along, be sure to let me know! Odds are I'll be all over it.

That all being said, I make an end. I'll leave you with this picture of one of the most recent awesome things I've done.
This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

On Job Interviews

Well, first of all, I'd like to point out that I've put up a picture of a place where I've actually been. The background of this is now the canyon leading into Havasupai. Maybe if I get a sweet landscape shot from a canyon in the future (likely) I'll change it.

Anyway, that's what I really wanted to make known in this post. However, bear with me, as I discuss job interviews. Now I'm not going to complain, because there's a chance that potential employers could find this blog and read it. In fact, I don't have a lot to complain about except for this: I suck at job interviews. Most people who know me say that I generally come off as a confident and trustworthy guy, but I don't think I do a very good job at projecting that when I'm confronted by a principal, a vice principal, and at least one social studies teacher. I'm not entirely sure why that is. I mean, what business does a guy who looks like this:

Have being not confident? That being said, I make an end. This is Captain Danger out.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

On Change

So, pointing out the obvious, I've made a couple changes. I just barely figured out that I could do this! There are a few things about Blogger that I don't know a lot about. Maybe someday. At any rate, I don't have a lot to report right now. Just be it known that I'm working on being able to put up a high quality picture of a place I've actually been in the background of this blog. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually. That being said, I leave you with this amazing picture:

This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, June 19, 2011

On Aging

Now, I know what you're all thnking, based on the title: "Captain Danger, you're only 26! You're not that old!" And that is actually true, however, I've noticed something about my current age. My body does not bounce back nearly as fast as it used to! I rolled my left ankle about 2 two weeks ago and it's still not in perfect shape! I remember back when I was 21 that wouldn't phase me for more than 2 days! I mean, I can't complain too much because I have a high pain tolerance, but I would still like to be able to jump off things like I used to be able to. As another piece of proof that I've aged, I present you with the following pictures:

And here's a picture of me recently (which is also one of the most amazing pictures I have ever seen.):
I rest my case. This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

On Pain

You'll all have to forgive me if this post is a little rambling. I just decided to jump on here to write because I felt I didn't really have anything better to do. However, that being said, don't let it dissuade you from reading on. It's very possible that I could think of something clever, profound, or hilarious while I sit out on my porch in the glorious weather and write.

Anyway, on to the main subject: pain. I pride myself in something in this respect. I personally believe that I have a very high pain tolerance. Allow me to give an example that long-time followers of my blog (I realize that your numbers are pretty sparse (but getting less sparse!)) will be familiar with. Last fall I broke my arm (canyoneering, go figure) and managed to still drag my fat butt out of that canyon with said broken arm. I also didn't think that it was broken for about two weeks with it and just went about business as usual with it, lifting heavy things, playing football and ultimate, etc. I was actually really surprised when I found out it was broken, because I didn't think it hurt enough to be actually broken. That's only one example. I could give more.

My left arm was broken when this picture
was taken. I even managed a smile!

So, jump forward to yesterday. Captain Danger is out canyoneering with his friends, as is his wont. On the first downclimb in Quandary Canyon (rated 4B III) he lands funny when he jumps the last bit and rolls his ankle. Figuring it's just like other times when he rolls his ankle, he doesn't say anything about it and just goes, thinking it will quit hurting soon. It didn't. It didn't bother him much in the canyon, but once they started the exit hike, he was limping pretty bad. Okay, I'm switching perspectives. This whole writing in third person is annoying. Anyway, all I can say is that ibuprofen is a miracle drug and getting out of that canyon would have been a lot more painful if I hadn't taken five of them.

Anyway, for those of you who may be worried about my ankle, it feels a lot better today. I'm still limping on it just to keep my weight off of it so that it's back in prime condition for Havasupai this week. That being said, I think I'm done with this post. This is Captain Danger out.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

On Unemployment

Being unemployed has started to lose its charm for me, and the killer thing is that I've only been unemployed officially since the end of the school year in the Nebo district (which was only a couple days ago). The main problem with being unemployed is that I've recently realized that I live kind of an expensive life. Here I am, having moved into a new house (where the rent is substantially higher (but I wouldn't go back because this house is awesome!)) and going canyoneering every weekend (more or less). Also, I tend to want to spend money on expensive things. For example a trip to Havasupai that I really shouldn't be able to afford (but must go on). So, basically I find that I need to be employed in the very near future.

On that note, I've found that I'm a little picky about my employment. Actually, I'm not that picky. The only thing that I really require is not having to work on Sundays. Is that so much to ask? I personally don't think so. And, while I prefer not to work on Saturdays (because, I mean, come on!), I've decided that I'm even open to that. I just don't want to break the Sabbath. So, that being said, I'm looking for a job, for the record.

That being said, I'm at home now, and I have remembered, yet again, how much fun it is to chase cows on the four wheeler. Also, here's an amazing picture of me:
This is Captain Danger out.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

On (My Own) Stupidity

I'm going to go ahead and make this something of a complaining post today, just to show that even Captain Danger doesn't always have perfect days. The Internets may not know that I am currently substitute teaching, trying to earn a living (it's not working too well). Well, yesterday I signed up for a job at Payson High School. I thought for sure that I double-checked that it was for today, so I took it. This morning I was awakened earlier than I had planned by a phone call asking me to do a different subbing job. I checked the computer before I turned it down, and I was certain that the one I had already signed up for was today. So, I said no to the job on the phone and commenced going down to Payson. When I was less than a mile from the school I got pulled over and got a speeding ticket. Apparently I'm not impervious to police. Dang. Anyway, when I got to the school and had hung around in the classroom for a little while, the teacher showed up and said that he was going to be gone on Friday. Not today. So, let's sum this up. I:
1. Drove to Payson, which took gas, anticipating that I would make money,
2. Got a speeding ticket, which probably would have taken all of the money I would have made, and
3. I didn't end up making any money and had to drive back, which also took gas.

So basically, if I were prone to depression (which, luckily, I'm not) I would probably be getting pretty close right now. However, as I'm not prone to depression and have an actual job interview for a teaching job this Friday, I'm doing fine, and now I get to spend my day watching Stargate Atlantis. The real downside of this is that I may not be able to buy my new canyoneering shoes today like I'd hoped, which sucks. I should probably figure out how much I'm having to pay for this speeding ticket. This is Captain Danger out.